How Couples Counseling Works:

Many people who come to couples counseling are coming in for the first time. They wonder “How does couples counseling work?”.  

They may not know how couples counseling works or can help them.  There may be a lot of uncertainty, hesitation or even trepidation! Some people have a lot of misconceptions about couples counseling and how, or if it can help them.  I can assure you that it’s normal to feel that way when starting something new.  There are so many positive things that come out of couples counseling.  Couples in counseling, who are willing to apply the necessary work, will experience more satisfaction in their relationship.

Couples Counseling Can Help Provide:

  • An increase in your understanding of yourself and your partner.
  • A deeper connection to your partner.
  • New skills for more effective communication.
  • A clear picture around the dynamics in the relationship, so that you can change the ones that harm the relationship and build on the ones that are good for the relationship.

While I am unable do the work to change for you, I will walk beside you and guide you in the direction of more productive and healthy interactions with each other.

Five things that you can expect in couples counseling with me:

CLARITY:  What’s going on? Couples counseling works because it brings clarity and understanding to the problems in the relationship.  We will get clear about the dynamics in the relationship that are causing you dissatisfaction. I will provide the skills, tools, supportive environment and encouragement when things get hard, but you have to do the hard work of putting those skills and techniques into action.  This will require an investment on your part of time and energy!  I will help you define your goal (more connection? more passionate sex? better conflict resolution?) and provide you with the road map and tools you need to get to that goal.

 

HOPE: “We’ve been together so long, maybe it’s too late to change our dynamics”.  Rubbish! I work with couples who have been together for decades.  Over time some bad habits have probably developed, but it’s never too late to reflect on how our behaviors and habits are impacting our satisfaction in our relationships and change things that no longer serve us.  Notice: I’m not encouraging you to focus on what your partner is doing wrong! That will get you nowhere!  We are all constantly growing and changing.  I believe that where there’s a will there’s a way.  If you want to see more love, connection, and harmony in your relationship there is a way and I can help you.

 

HERE AND NOW FOCUS: Your childhood experiences are very important in the role they played in teaching you about love, family, trust and relationships.  It’s also important that your partner knows about those experiences.  But in couples counseling we won’t do a deep dive into your childhood (unless you specifically request that).  My goal is to get you to show up to your relationship RIGHT NOW, and TOMORROW and the NEXT DAY in a way that heals your childhood injuries, and builds a secure relationship RIGHT NOW.

 

PRACTICAL TECHNIQUES: Couples counseling works to build skills and a set of communication skills. I have extensive training and experience in a number of tried and true methods of improving communication, managing conflict, building emotional connection (falling back in LOVE!), and improving your sex life.  You will practice new ways of communicating in session and I’ll send you home with tasks and activities to help reinforce those new skills at home.

 

LIGHTHEARTEDNESS AND HUMOR: What’s so funny about therapy? Well, actually humor plays an important role in our ability to cope with stress, defuse tension and HAVE FUN.  I can help you do some real growth and development while also keeping things light hearted and fun! We mustn’t stop playing just because we are no longer children.  And, studies prove, when you laugh together, your relationship will benefit.

 

Have questions? Check out my FAQ page.

Ready to jump in? Click HERE to book your first appointment, or email me to set up your 15 minute free consultation to get all your questions answered and make sure we are a good fit!