Finding Balance In Relationships is Key for Connection and Health
What is a balanced relationship?
One big relationship challenge that couples struggle with is how to balance their individual needs with the needs of their relationship and partner. Sometimes it feels impossible to achieve an outcome that is good for both the individual and their partner. In some relationships, this is terribly out of balance and either the relationship, or the individual suffers. Or both!
But it doesn’t have to be this way!
Here are a few quick tips to ensure that you keep both yourself, and your relationship needs balanced and prioritized:
Does your relationship lean too heavily towards the individual needs?
Before making a decision: Think “Is this good for my relationship and me?”. If one or the other is going to suffer, what needs could be addressed and adjustments made so that we are closer to taking care of both the relationship and the individuals in the relationship?
For example: You want to go on a long weekend with your friends, but you know your partner has been feeling neglected recently. When you share that you want to go, also acknowledge your partner’s need for couple time. Try suggesting some time (that you will plan!) to create couple time:
“Hey Honey, I’d like to go away for 3 days to the mountains. I know you’ve been wanting to do something as a couple. When I get back we can go to that new restaurant you’ve been wanting to try. How does that sound?”.
Does your relationship lean too heavily towards the relationship needs, sacrificing the needs of the individuals?
If it seems like the relationship’s needs take priority to your or your partner’s needs this could cause problems down the road. If you tend to cave or sacrifice the things that are import to you, or you see your partner doing the same, it could lead to a feeling that you or your partner are losing their sense of self in the relationship. It can also build resentment that “My needs don’t matter” in the relationship. It may be useful to explore and identify what comes up for you when you need to advocate for yourself and receive some pushback about something you are asking for? Do you have deeply held beliefs that you should sacrifice for the relationship? Or that your needs aren’t valid? Or if you speak up and upset your partner, that’s not being a good partner? If any of these beliefs ring true for you and are causing you problems as a partner and an individual, don’t despair. They can be worked through! Finding balance in relationships is important to a relationships health.
If achieving this important balancing act has been challenging in your relationship, contact us HERE to set up an appointment and get some help with this important relationship skill.
