Here’s why Self Care is Ridiculous: We shouldn’t need a phrase or a trend to take care of ourselves!!! From very young we are taught how to care for our bodies. Where did this turn into a revolution? We are STILL required to eat healthy, be physically active, and care for our body. This is CRITICAL to showing up to your relationship in a way that creates love and connection. This promotes effective COMMUNICATION, CONNECTION, and CONFLICT MANAGEMENT:
Following are some key reasons that “taking care of yourself” through “Self Care” is good for your relationship and helps you get the most out of couples therapy.
1. In couples counseling, I will expect each partner to “FOCUS ON YOURSELF”.
You may have a (long) list of things that your partner needs to change so that you can be happy and fall back in love. The more you focus on yourself, the better results you will get and that means “self care”! Coming to individual therapy for relationships can also improve your relationship by helping you reflect on your role in the things about the relationship you are not happy with and identifying things you can do right now to improve your relationship. Individual marriage counseling can help you get clear about your relationship goals and help you care for yourself in a way that helps you reach those goals.
2. You need to feel balanced to show up to your relationship.
If you are sleep-deprived, hungry, or overly stressed – how can you put your best foot forward with your partner? Where will the energy come from to respond in a productive, caring way, instead of a combative, defensive way? When we can identify and attend to our needs, we can then better respond to our relationships and our partner’s needs.
3. Self care allows us to live an active lifestyle and be in a better mental and physical state
As a marriage counselor in Denver, I know of a number of great dates and activities to help couples connect, enjoy each other’s company, and bond together. Ski the Rockies, run, cycle our diverse and abundant bicycle trails, and ax-throwing (yes!) There are many things to choose from to get you active. Even if you are doing these activities solo, these activities will help you show up with lower stress and more focus to be a great partner. When we are active we cope with stress better, and what can be more stressful when your relationship is not where you want it to be? So take care of yourself by making sure that you are getting outdoors and being active!
4. Have a satisfying sex life!
When people come in for couples sex counseling, one of the things we need to understand is how are you each caring for yourself, physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. Are you eating right, getting enough sleep, exercising? Are you getting the emotional and social support you need to feel balanced? Do you feel connected with your friends and family? What role does spirituality play in your life? What do these things have to do with SEX? Without appropriate SELF CARE in all areas of our lives, our libido and desire for sex can be impacted. While sexual desire is complicated, looking after ourselves is an important first step to building a satisfying sex life.
As an experienced and effective relationship therapist Denver, I can help you identify the goals for your relationship and how a strong plan for Self Care can improve how you show up in your relationship and contribute to your overall relationship satisfaction. Call me for a 15 complimentary consultation or book HERE now!
