How to navigate being stuck in a lease and a relationship:
- Use the opportunity to make sure the relationship is truly over
- Use the time to grieve the end of the relationship and say goodbye consciously
- Use the time to make thoughtful decisions for your next steps
It can feel awful to be stuck in a relationship because of a lease. But there are opportunities and ways to benefit from this unwanted situation. You can use the time to ensure your relationship truly is over and you’ve done everything possible to make it better and more satisfying. You can use the time to process and grieve the end of the relationship so that when your lease is up you can move on to the next chapter of your life unattached and ready for a new relationship. You can also use the time to make thoughtful decisions and carefully plan out your next move.
Read on to learn more about some ways to navigate the situation of feeling stuck in a relationship because of a lease.
See the opportunity to make sure the relationship is truly over
Feeling stuck in a relationship because of a lease can feel awful but if you consider the opportunities it creates, you may be able to make this experience more beneficial to you. Many times when people are considering breaking up, they come to me as a couples counselor to help them process that and decide what is next. I offer Discernment Counseling which is a structured process of exploration and decision making. We look at how they got to this point in their relationship, what is contributing to the possibility of a break up and what would need to change for them to want to be in the relationship still. Through this process people can get clear about whether to stay or go.
Have time to grieve the end of the relationship and say goodbye consciously
With time still left on your lease, you can use that time to grieve the end of the relationship by processing the feelings of loss and the dreams for the future that won’t happen now. Consider talking to a relationship therapist to help process the vast feelings you may be having. It’s normal to feel elated, liberated and excited for your future during a break up. But you also may feel devastated, hopeless, anxious, uncertain and frustrated. It’s useful to feel and process all these feelings to better understand yourself, to make meaning of the break up and to grow through the experience. If the other person is open to it, having time left on your lease will also allow you and the other person the opportunity to “consciously un-couple” and have a good goodbye.
Have time to make thoughtful decisions for your next move
If you decide the relationship is truly over, being stuck in a lease will give you time to plan for the future, and make rational decisions without feeling pressured or making impulsive snap judgement decisions. Sometimes when a relationship is ending intense feelings can influence your ability to make good decisions. By having more time while the lease runs out you can be confident you are making wise decisions that come from both your head and your heart. You will have time to talk to family and friends to get the support and wisdom to move forward in a way that will lift you up and move you toward your goals. You can decide if you want to stay in the same area, move cities, or for some people even move states.
If you need help, either as a couple, or solo, I have helped many couples navigate through this difficult time. Contact my office today to explain your situation and explore how I can help.
