Common Worries About Couples Counseling:
Many people I have met have so many worries about going to couples counseling.
Some of them find that they feel embarrassed or ashamed when they think about coming to couples counseling. Sometimes they have told me they feel they shouldn’t be having the problems they are having, or that they should be able to solve them on their own. They are, after all, smart and resourceful people, but they just can’t seem to get out of a bad cycle with their partner. They think their problems aren’t that bad (even though they are miserable). Or they minimize them by comparing themselves to others, who have an even more unhappy relationship. But none of these approaches will improve your relationship.
What can you do about your worries about going to couples counseling?
You can continue to try to fix it yourself and get the same results or some short term improvements but no lasting changes…
Or you can accept that your worries about couples counseling are normal and common, and reach out to my office to set up your first couples counseling session. I am sensitive to the fact that coming in for couples counseling requires courage and humility. It can also feel incredibly vulnerable to share your struggles and heartache with a stranger. Know that I don’t take that lightly. I’m continually impressed when a couple comes in and says “We’ve tried everything, read all the books, and nothing has worked. It’s time for us to try couples counseling”. That takes bravery.
Here is what one brave, but worried couple shared with me about what they experienced:
I once had a worried couple say:
“We were so nervous before we came in, but by the end of the session, those worries were completely gone!”
I help couples feel less nervous in session because I’m truly here to help and I love what I do.
But aren’t you going to be judging our relationship, or us?
I was asked by a client recently “Why do you do this work? It must be so hard!” And it is. Therapists hear a lot of tragic things and see a lot of heartache. But my answer was that I do it because having a healthy relationship is so important. It’s critical for our physical health and our emotional health. And when a couple is healthy and strong, that has a ripple effect on the wellbeing of their children, their family and their community. When I can help a couple have a healthier relationship, I’m not just helping them, I’m positively impacting their whole community! And no, I’m absolutely not judging you or your relationship. Anyone in a relationship has had trying times that would have been made easier with the help of a counselor.
Between my passion for helping couples have deeply satisfying relationships and my many years of specialized training and experience treating couples of all ages and stages in their relationship, I can help you get out of the rut and get your relationship back to a place of love and connection.
