What to Ask A Couples Counselor During the Free Phone Consultation

Why Asking the Right Questions Before Choosing a Couples Therapist Matters

Finding the right couples therapist can feel overwhelming. There are many skilled relationship therapists in Denver and beyond, each with their own style, training, and expertise. Once you’ve narrowed down your search, how do you know if a therapist is truly the right fit for you and your partner?

One of the best ways to find out is through a free phone consultation. Most therapists, myself included, offer this quick conversation so you can get a sense of whether you’ll feel comfortable and supported working together. This short call gives you the chance to get a feel for the therapist’s approach, ask important questions, and decide whether you’ll feel comfortable working with them. Knowing what to ask can make all the difference in choosing a therapist who can truly support your relationship.

In this post, I’ll walk you through the most important questions to ask a couples therapist during a free consultation, so you and your partner can make an informed choice with confidence.

Questions to Ask a Couples Therapist About Their Background

Start by asking questions about the therapist’s training, qualifications, and experience:

• How long have you been working with couples?
• What is your background and training in couples therapy?
• Do you specialize in particular issues like infidelity, communication, or intimacy?
• Can you share examples of how you’ve helped couples with similar challenges?

These questions help you gauge whether the therapist has experience with the unique struggles you and your partner are facing.

Questions to Ask About Their Style and Approach

Every therapist has a different way of working with couples. Some are very directive, while others are more collaborative. It’s important to know what to expect:

• How would you describe your approach to couples therapy?
• Are you more directive (and tell us what to do) or reflective?
• Do you take sides?
• How do you handle conflict or fighting in session?
• Will you see us individually for sessions without our partner?
• Do you use a specific method or structured plan for therapy sessions?

As a couples therapist in Denver, I often explain to new clients that my role is not to take sides, but to help partners really hear and understand each other.

Questions to Ask About Key Relationship Issues

If you and your partner are entering therapy with specific concerns, be direct in asking how the therapist works with those issues:

• How do you help couples improve communication?
• What is your approach to rebuilding trust after infidelity?
• How do you work with sexual concerns or intimacy challenges? (This is especially important if you’re seeking support from a sex therapist.)
• How do you help couples navigate major differences in values or goals?
• What does commitment mean to you, and how do you help couples strengthen it?
• How do you feel about ________? Fill in the blank with anything that you’d like to cover. Open marriages, sexless marriages, separation, divorce, second/third marriages, and the how-to of blended families, etc.

For more on what therapy can look like, you may also want to read my post on How Does Couples Counseling Work?

Practical and Logistical Questions

Finally, make sure you cover practical details so there are no surprises:

• What are your fees, and do you offer different session lengths?
• Do you offer virtual therapy as well as in-person sessions?
• How do you handle scheduling and cancellations?
• What is your confidentiality policy?
• Are you experienced in working with clients from diverse cultural or religious backgrounds?

Questions to Ask Yourself After the Consultation

The consultation is not just about the therapist’s answers — it’s also about your gut feeling. Ask yourself:

• Do I feel comfortable and safe with this therapist?
• Do I trust their expertise and approach?
• Do I feel understood, and like our relationship challenges are taken seriously?
• Do I feel hopeful that therapy could help us?

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Where to Start Your Search for a Couples Therapist

If you don’t have a personal referral, online directories are a great place to begin. These sites allow you to filter by location, specialty, and years of experience so you can find a therapist who fits your needs:

• Psychology Today
• Denver Therapist Network
• TherapyDen

Once you’ve narrowed down your options, you can set up a complimentary phone consultation to see if the therapist is the right fit for you and your partner.

Take the Next Step

Choosing the right therapist is a big decision, but asking the right questions can help you feel confident that you’re starting in the right place.

At Couples Counseling of Denver, I offer both in-person sessions in Denver and secure virtual counseling so you can get support from anywhere in the world. If you’d like to see if we’re a good fit, contact me today to schedule your free 15-minute phone consultation.